Quick Run Over the U.S. Presidents |
By T.L. Winslow (TLW), the Historyscoper™ |
© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved. |
Last Update: Apr. 19, 2021. |
The United States of America was from the start a sleeping giant, a government of mainly white Anglo-Saxon Protestants (WASPs) uniting an entire new continent freshly swept of pesky aborigines by genocide, teeming with undeveloped resources, conveniently separated by the Pond (Atlantic Ocean) from the wars and hatreds of the Euro past, from whence it systematically grew up and then took its place as Big Kid on the World Block, displacing Great Britain. Like the monarchs of England, the presidents of the U.S. are a good chronometer to put into your heads to help frame the world's history, for the last 200 years. There aren't that many of them, and one nice thing is that they change every four or eight years usually, and their terms usually begin and end on better-luck-this-time odd-numbered years (unless they have to fill more years, or ford between two years?).
The Quick Story of the Presidents (Washington to FDR):
In Washington Adam was jeopardized by a mad monster. Adam and Jack ran to the bureau, but in their hurry they broke a tile and poked a tailor. They filmed more buildings, pierced by a cannon which was linked by John's son to granite. The haze over garden and field sheltered Arthur, who cleaved his way in a hurry. He cleaved mockingly as he cried "A rose taffeta dress will hardly be the right thing in a college, but whoever desires rose veils may truly wear them."
Now let's cover them systematically.
U.S. pres. #1 is good ole George Washington (1732-99) (1789-97), the head of his nation and father of his country, who was above political parties, but during whose first term the Federalist and Dem.-Repub. Parties were founded; he is followed by his vice-pres. (#1) John Adams (1735-1826), who is Federalist pres. #2 (1797-1801), and is followed by his vice-pres. (#2) Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) as Dem.-Repub. pres. #3 (1801-9), whose vice-presidents are #3 Aaron Burr (1756-1836) (1801-5) and #4 George Clinton (1739-1812) (1805-9).
James Madison (1751-1836) is Dem.-Repub. pres. #4 (1809-17), with vice-pres. #4 George Clinton (1739-1812) (1809-12), then #5 Elbridge Thomas Gerry (1744-1814) (pr. with a hard G) (1813-4), famous for inventing Gerrymandering.
Having beat the pesky Brits twice, the U.S. is rolling along, with the Era of Good Feelings and the Monroe Doctrine. James Monroe (1758-1831) is Dem.-Repub. pres. #5 (1817-25), with vice-pres. #6 Daniel D. [maybe Decius, but probably just D.] Tompkins (1774-1825) (1817-25).
John Quincy Adams (1767-1848) is Dem.-Repub. pres. #6 (1825-9), with vice-pres. #7 John Caldwell Calhoun (1782-1850) (1825-9).
The first real people's choice, Andrew Jackson (1767-1845) is Dem. pres. #7 (1829-37), whose vice-presidents are #7 John Caldwell Calhoun (1782-1850) (1829-32) and #8 Martin Van Buren (1782-1862) (1833-7), who is pres. #8 (1837-41) (first born after the U.S. achieved independence from Britain), with vice-pres. #9 Richard Mentor Johnson (1780-1850) (1837-41), the only vice-pres. elected by the U.S. Senate under the provisions of the 12th Amendment.
"Tippecanoe" William Henry Harrison (1773-1841) is Whig pres. #9 (1841), and after his famous long whigbag, er, windbag inaguration speech in the rain leads to death from pneumonia, his vice-pres. (#10) John Tyler (1790-1862) (a Dem.-Repub. elected on the Whig ticket) becomes pres. #10 (1841-5), with no vice-pres. Who can forget that Ten is Tyler and Twelve is Taylor? Tyler had a record 12 children by two wives, making him the f---ingest U.S. pres. in history so far.
James Knox Polk (1794-1849) is Dem. pres. #11 (1845-9), with vice-pres. #11 George Mifflin Dallas (1792-1864) (1845-9). Zachary Taylor (1784-1850) is Whig pres. #12 (1849-50) (last Southerner until Wilson), but after he chokes on some cherries his vice-pres. #12 Millard Fillmore (1800-74) fills in as pres. #13 (1850-3) (first born in the 1800s) (last Whig pres.), with no vice-pres.
Doughface Franklin Pierce (1804-69) is Dem. pres. #14 (1853-7), with William Rufus deVane King (1786-1853) as vice-pres. #13 in 1853, who dies in office, after which Doughface (Northerner with Southern sympathies) Pierce rides solo.
James Buchanan (1791-1868) (another doughface) is Dem. pres. #15 (1857-61), with vice-pres. #14 John Cabell Breckinridge (1821-75) (1857-61).
The U.S. Civil War begins the day that Abraham Lincoln (1809-65) is Repub. pres. #16 (1861-5), with Hannibal Hamlin (1809-91) as vice-pres. #15 in 1861-5, and Andrew Johnson (1808-75) as vice-pres. #16 in 1865, who after the big surrender at Appomattox Courthouse, Va. and the assassination is Repub. pres. #17 (1865-9), with no vice-pres.
Top Union Civil War gen. Ulysses S. "Unconditional Surrender" Grant (1822-85) is Repub. pres. #18 (1869-77), with vice-presidents #17 Schuyler Colfax Jr. (1823-85) (1869-73) and #18 Henry Wilson (Jeremiah Jones Colbath) (1812-75) (1873-5), who dies in office. Grant was the last of 12 presidents to have owned slaves, and the last of four of these to not own any while in office, the last being Zachary Taylor. Of the first 18 presidents, only John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, and Abraham Lincoln never owned any.
Rutherford Birchard Hayes (1822-93) is Repub. pres. #19 (1877-81), with vice-pres. #19 William Almon Wheeler (1819-87) (1877-81).
James Abram Garfield (1831-81) is Repub. pres. #20 in 1881, and after he is assassinated is succeeded by his vice-pres. #20 Chester Alan Arthur (1829-86), who is Repub. pres. #21 (1881-5), with no vice-pres.
Stephen Grover Cleveland (1837-1908) is Dem. pres. #22 (1885-9), with vice-pres. #21 Thomas Andrews Hendricks (1819-85) (1885).
Benjamin Harrison (1833-1901) (1889-93) is Repub. #23, with vice-pres. #22 Levi Parsons Morton (1824-1920) (1889-93). Then Stephen Grover Cleveland (1837-1908) returns as pres. #24 (1893-7), with vice-pres. #23 Adlai Ewing Stevenson Sr. (1835-1914) (1893-7).
William McKinley (1843-1901) is Repub. #25 (1897-1901), with vice-pres. #24 Garret Augustus Hobart (1844-99) (1897-1901) and #25 Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) (1901), who after McKinley's assassination is Repub. pres. #26 (1901-1905), with vice-pres. #26 Charles Warren Fairbanks (1852-1918) (1905-9).
William Howard Taft (1857-1930) is Repub. pres. #27 (1909-13), with vice-pres. #27 James Schoolcraft Sherman (1855-1912) (1909-12).
Thomas Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924) is Dem. pres. #28 (1913-21), with vice-pres. #28 Thomas Riley Marshall (1854-1925) (1913-21), during whose term the U.S. tried in vain to stay out of Euro affairs and ended up invading to save their former enemy the Brits in WWI.
Warren Gamaliel Harding (1865-1923) is Repub. pres. #29 (1921-3), with vice-pres. #29 John Calvin "Silent Cal" Coolidge Jr. (1872-1933) (1921-3), who after Harding's suspicious death is pres. #30 (1923-9), with vice-pres. #30 Charles Gates Dawes (1865-1951) (1925-9), who authored the Dawes Plan for WWI reparations and shared the 1925 Nobel Peace Prize.
Herbert Clark Hoover (1874-1964) is Repub. pres. #31 (1929-33), with half-Indian vice-pres. #31 Charles Curtis (1860-1936) (1929-33), immediately facing Black Tuesday in 1929, and limping along until the inevitable exeunt stage left.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945) is Dem. pres. #32 (1933-45), being elected 4x, with vice-presidents #32 John Nance "Cactus Jack" Garner IV (1868-1967) (1933-41), #33 Henry Agard Wallace (1888-1965) (1941-5), and #34 Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) (1945), who after FDR's death is Dem. pres. #33 (1945-53), with vice-pres. #35 Alben William Barkley (1877-1956) (1949-53).
Dwight David "Ike" Eisenhower (1890-1969) is Repub. pres. #34 (1953-61), with vice-pres. #36 Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-94) (1953-61).
John Fitzgerald "Jack" Kennedy (1917-63) is Dem. pres. #35 (1961-3), with vice-pres. #37 Lyndon Baines Johnson (1908-73) (1961-3), who after JFK's assassination is pres. #36 (1963-9), with vice-pres. #38 Hubert Horatio Humphrey Jr. (1911-78) (1965-9).
Richard Milhous "Tricky Dicky" Nixon (1913-94) is Repub. pres. #37 (1969-74), with vice-pres. #39 Spiro Theodore Agnew (1918-96) (1969-73) and #40 Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. (1913-2006) (1973-4), who after Watergate and Nixon's resignation is Repub. pres. #38 (1974-7), with vice-pres. #41 Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller (1908-79) (1974-7).
James Earl "Jimmy" Carter Jr. (1924-) is Dem. pres. #39 (1977-81), with vice-pres. #42 Walter Frederick "Fritz" Mondale (1928-2021) (1977-81).
Former Hollywood actor Ronald Wilson Reagan (1911-2004) is Repub. pres. #40 (1981-9), with vice-pres. #43 George Herbert Walker Bush (1924-2018) (1981-9), who is Repub. pres. #41 (1989-93), with vice-pres. #44 James Danforth "Dan" Quayle (1947-) (known for spelling potato with an e) (first Baby Boomer, unfortunately?) (1989-93).
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton (1946-) is Dem. pres. #42 (first Baby Boomer pres.) (1993-2001), with vice-pres. #45 Albert Arnold "Al" Gore Jr. (1948-) (1993-2001).
George Walker Bush (1946-) is Repub. pres. #43 (2001-9), with vice-pres. #46 Richard Bruce "Dick" Cheney (1941-) (2001-9).
Up until this point all U.S. presidents have been lily white hetero non-Jewish mainly Protestant males, WASPs mainly. Suddenly, in 2008 the U.S. elects, er, dark horse candidate Barack Hussein Obama II (1961-) as Dem. pres. #44 (2009-17), with vice. pres. #47 Joseph Robinette "Joe" Biden Jr. (1942-) (2009-17).
Maverick non-PC real estate billionaire Donald John Trump (1946-) is Repub. pres. #45 (2017-), with vice pres. #48 Michael Richard "Mike" Pence (1959-) (2017-).